Tuesday, 1 November 2016
Finding 'The One' is so damn hard
Finding The One is so difficult these days. You're not sure how to approach taking your relationship to the next level and talking about things happening at home or finances. It's a hard situation to read, made only more difficult by the transient nature of people seeking these relationships.
I am, of course, talking about a female BFF.
If you are one of those lucky girls (or guys) who grew up with people who you've stayed in touch with, your lives have taken a similar path and you are still relevant to one another then take a moment to step back and appreciate the beauty of what life has given you. For those of us who moved a lot, had falling outs or just simply lost touch, finding that rock to help you through the hard times can be one of the most difficult, and traumatising, tasks in your adult life. The simple truth is, making friends as an adult is hard.
I'm not talking about work friends that you bitch with in the staff kitchen, or your neighbour who you always make time to stop for, or even the mums at your kids school who you chat to in the playground. I'm talking about the person you can call at midnight because you've had enough of your life and you'd like to fantasise about running away to Ibiza and being a shot girl, the person who will pick you up when your car breaks down on the motorway, the person will dance with you on aisle 7,
Making friends comes so naturally when you are a child, so why is it so hard to make friends as an adult? Simple. We are busy, we are stressed and we are too proud to ask someone if they would like to play today. Fear of rejection is extreme, so what can we do to make it better? How does one make friends as an adult.
Apps such as MeetUp and Mummy Social help massively and will help you to find like minded who are also looking to make a connection and develop friendships. Meetup allows you access to some pretty specific groups of people, so if you are into cars, art or finger painting, there will probably be a group for that.
Volunteering can be incredibly rewarding and there's nothing like meeting socially responsible people who care about stuff. Sometimes it's hard to care about stuff, and meeting these people can give you the motivation to mix up your life a little bit. or it might make you stab yourself in the eyes for being so lazy, it could go either way so... disclaimer!
Take a Class
No one is telling you to get your doctorate, but a class is a great place to meet people. I guess it sort of emulates the last place we felt truly comfortable making friends - school. Make sure that you are going to a class where you can interact with other people like a cooking or language class.
This may be hard to hear, but if you want to make friends, you're going to have to leave our house. I know, it's not easy. It requires getting dressed, brushing your hair and even smiling, bu it will be totally worth it.
No one is saying that you need to go and make 50 friends to feel cool, you really just have to find that one person that really gets you and you're good to go.
I hope this post finds you well and, if not, I hope it leaves you better.
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